Being Subject to Change

The point in the relationship between two people that usually makes or breaks into the "what could be's" is the question "What do you want?"
In my case the "What do you want" question is not a question I could have ever told to any of the boys I had dated in the past. Because the answer, though it is many things when coming to the person I want, -was something I wasn't ready to admit to myself- and ultimately would have ultimately ended in "What I want, is not you."
This post is sort of brought on by a comment I received on my last post that said that women do not know what they want. And in a way, that person was right. Women can be completely indecisive especially when it comes to small things. But when it comes to men, women know exactly what they want. Chances are they've known for a long time and have made lists, and watched way too many chick flicks about the super human man who does it all. In theory it sounds okay. But is it healthy at all to have these completely unreal expectations for these men or boys? But then also, is it completely unreal to want to be treated like a girl in a chick flick? To worry that since the loneliness is a little too much at times, that settling would be worth it and keeping your own version of "What do you want?" to yourself, because this man is not it, but he sort of is and thats good enough?

In one of my favorite movies "He's Just Not That Into You" (Which is also a book, and if you have not read, you need to.) Gigi, the very normal scattered and silly and very lonely girl, has just made a move on her "Man Mentor" and he yells at her for expecting too much and thinking that he wanted to be with her and she just says to him, " I would rather be like that, than be like you... I may dissect each little thing and put myself out there too much but at least that means I still care. Oh! You've think you won because women are expendable to you. You may not get hurt or make an ass of yourself that way but you don't fall in love that way either. You have not won. You're alone. I may do a lot of stupid shit but I'm still a lot closer to love than you are."

The other day a dear friend said to me "since we've moved here it seems like its a need instead of an option to be in a relationship." and she was right. Maybe it's the loneliness of settling into a new place with so many different people and realizing that sometimes your friends cant be the type of there for you that a man or woman could be. In a small town like the one I live in, if you are in a relationship it's almost like you are royalty, that may be because the ratio here is 5 girls to every boy. But does that mean more women here in order to feel like they are in the royal "upper class" settle for less than what they know they want? Has it become an unwritten trend to settle for "less than" to be royal? And has the other option become more well known, and the people who willingly choose to be single rather than settle for less, become untouchable? Where is the finish line?