The Rules

Once upon a time I took a long drive to home from my little college town. I came home and everything was fabulous, a new hair do (still bun-able, believe me.) a boy asking me questions, and reuniting with an old friend. It was to be a lovely day. And then came the moment when the boy asked me to come along with his plans that night and I agreed, and that's how I formed The Rules.

The Rules of Choosing Who To Date

1. Do not date if: They cannot spell, the man in your life should be able to spell, it's not a full deal breaker if they use a "u" instead of spelling out "you" but if it gets to a point where "busy" has become "bizy" run. Just run away.

2. Do not date if: They live with their parents. Now this can be argued and for the most part has a little bit of leeway if they have just returned from a mission or long expedition and are between houses and need a place to bunk. But if the man is still living with his parents and expecting his eggs scrambled every morning, then that relationship should be over easy.

3. Do not date if: The pictures they are "liking" on Instagram, Facebook, and other social media networks are pictures that you would not feel comfortable sharing with your mom, or your roommate, or your cat. or anyone really. You're probably sad you saw what they were liking for yourself anyway. If the pictures are inappropriate, so is the guy.

4. Do not date if: He has just ended a relationship. Sure it seems like the perfect time, the guy is vulnerable, and sad and you just want to give him a hug. I don't care how nice this guy is to you, he's still thinking about his ex and his breakup and he really won't be over it for at least a couple weeks. Give it space, give him time, and absolutely remain classy about the whole situation, there is no need to trash talk an ex that you've never met, or that was never your own.

5. Do not date if: He doesn't know what he wants out of life. Now I know this one is hard, but hey, if a guy can't decide what he wants to be when he grows up, how is he going to decide if he wants you to be there when he grows up? An indecisive man leads to frustration, confusion, and questioning of your own judgement. You know what you want, so why shouldn't he?

6. Do not date if: He is still acting like a boy. Chivalry is not dead, saying chivalry is dead is an excuse boys made up and girls use constantly to feel better about not having the door opened or not getting flowers on Valentines Day. A Man will be the one treating you like you deserve only the best, because he knows you do. And a boy will be the one watching and making excuses for his lack of effort and love toward nurturing the relationship between the two of you.

The Rules are subject to my changing them at any time, maybe soon i'll put out a "Do date if" rules list. But so far, through my limited college and growing up and moving out and living on experience, this is what i've collected and I don't think thats too shabby.

And It's Cold Outside

I was talking to my friend the other day when she said, "I love the grey sky... I don't feel pressured to be anything when there is grey sky. I can just be who I am, whereas when its sunny out, I have to be happy all the time." I didn't respond, because she has smoked way too much pot, and I was tired, and the drive was long. By the time we got to the end I wasn't upset saying goodbye to her like I had been in the past. I went home and moved on and grew up a little. And then you started being in the back of my mind and I didn't like it, you would show up and small movies would play in my head of the way things could be, but not for long, I would put them away in the trunk in the back of my mind and try to forget you. But there's something about holding on that gets stuck in the mind and breaks down the barriers and fights what you thought you knew or should be knowing about love and life and everything in between. And it's lonely and it's sad but somehow through it all it's still hopeful and I want to yell at myself and say that it's not okay and that it needs to stop but- all the sentences end in "but-" when it comes to you. And something about letting that go seems more lonely and sad than anything else I could think about you.

Counting Ideas

So this is the beginning of the blog, but not the bun. The bun began on a trip to England last summer, and moved from the front of my head to the top. It's a lot of who I am in a hairstyle: bold, a little messy, and sassy.

 This is the beginning of figuring out men, and not the boys. This began through deciding that loving myself was the root to loving anything else, and learning that love should be given only on those most deserving.

 This is the beginning of blogging for me. I Started and failed in the past but this time, -I don't know why, maybe I owe it to October and the falling leaves and all that sappy autumn jazz- I'd like to stick around and write things down.

 And so the blog begins.